


Overcoming Death

by trashy_kai



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-09
Packaged: 2018-01-07 08:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashy_kai/pseuds/trashy_kai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Human AU: After Meg's death, Castiel is having problems living his life. That is until he meets a random stranger that starts helping him out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N:This is for a prompt challenge. ~Prompt: "It was growing late, and though one might stand on the brink of a deep chasm of disaster, one was still obliged to dress for dinner." (April Lady - Georgette Hayer)~

**Overcoming Death**

_Chapter 1_

Things were never easy for Castiel. His family was a chaos; he had almost no friends, and the only person he truly cared, his girlfriend Meg, died.

There was nothing he wanted to do more than just let his emotions crush him, while he lied down in his bed. But he couldn't. The two members of his family that weren't as messed up as the rest of them, asked him to have dinner with him.

Castiel was tying his shoes, while his heart hammered against his chest.  _Do I really need to go?_  But the answer was obvious. Balthazar had told him that he had an announcement to make, and he requested that his little Cassie was present for the occasion. Castiel must go.

Upon deciding which clothes he would take, he felt like he was sick. The last time he wore those clothes was when he took Meg out for the last time; using those clothes again hurt him a lot, especially now that she wasn't there to tell him how funny they made him look. Those shoes were the ones she chose for him. The memories about the clothes were too much. But would Castiel attend a family dinner without his formal clothing? Not in a million years. Even if those clothes were the last memories he had shared with his late girlfriend.

Standing up and looking at the figure in the mirror, Castiel noticed that he still needed to add a tie. He went for his closet and reached for the first one he saw, not really caring which one it was. He returned to the front of the mirror and placed the deep blue tie around his neck. Tying his tie was easy, an absentminded movement. It didn't matter if he was lost in thought because he was so used to the mechanism of it that he could be sleeping and the result would still be the same: not perfect. He had never been able to do it exactly right, there was something that made it look like he had been taking the tie out many time without undoing the lace.

The mirror showed him his dark messy hair. He could never control it before, and surely now wasn't going to be the time he actually could so he grabbed his tan trench coat and left his apartment.

-Break line-

Getting to the restaurant wasn't easy. In fact it was the most difficult thing he had ever been trough. Castiel kept walking around places he had so many memories with Meg. He passed the park where they first met three year before; he passed the clothing shop where she used to work; he passed her old apartment; he passed the spot where she was hit by a car three days before.

Walking around town had never been harder.  _Why, Meg? Why!? Why did you have to die when we were so happy? I was going to propose! Why did it have to be three days before the New Year?!_

By now this was a usual thing; Castiel felt the tears trying to escape his eyes, his breathing was uneven, he could feel his heart racing. There was no worse feeling than passing where she had been hit. Castiel was almost falling to the floor when someone grabbed him, pulling Castiel's arm against his neck.

"Are you alright buddy?" A male voice asked him.

Castiel tried to focus on the voice, but it was impossible. He couldn't control his body. There was too much pain in himself for him to stop his body from shaking.

"Oh my god. You're crying!" The stranger muttered as he pulled Castiel in a warm embrace.

It was something unexpected, but it wasn't unwelcomed. Feeling someone else's body against his own made Castiel feel a bit more comfortable, though the tears were still rolling down his cheeks, his anxiety attack started decreasing and his breathing evened. But that didn't make him move from the stranger's embrace. He even hugged him back, as tight as he could. His eyes fluttered shut and he just hugged the stranger. He needed someone to help him, and when this person helped him, he didn't want to be let go again. He wanted someone to be there for him.

"Are you better now?" The guy asked Castiel.

Castiel thought about the question. He wasn't all that better… He just felt that it wasn't as bad as before. Maybe that could be considered better?

"I think so." Castiel replied, still not letting go of the stranger. Any other person would try to get free of him, but this guy just kept holding him, never once questioned if he was going to let go.

"I'm glad." Was the only answer that person gave him.

Raising his head from the stranger's neck, Castiel looked at the face of his savior. A jovial face, with the most vivid green eyes he had ever laid eyes on, was full of concern.

Suddenly looking at his face, Castiel got shy and let go of him.  _Why were you hugging him? You don't even know the guy!_

"Sorry about that." Castiel said whilst looking at the ground embarrassed of his attitude.

A light chuckle filled the air.

"You don't need to apologize. I know what it feels like to have an anxiety attack, and I know what it  _looks like_ well enough to try and fight it when someone is showing the symptoms." The stranger told him, a smile gracing his features.

"Yes. But I still held on to you. I should have let go." Castiel said, his eyes glancing slightly at the man in front of him.

"Whatever it takes to make you feel better, man." The other said simply.

The stranger was starting to walk away when Castiel grabbed his arm.

"What's your name?" He asked.

The green eyed stranger smiled.

"I'm Dean Winchester." He said as he offered his hand.

"Thank you, Dean Winchester, for helping me." Castiel said, accepting the other man's hand. "I'm Castiel Novak."

They shook their hands for a few seconds, before collecting them again.

"There was no problem." Dean told him with an easy smile.

Castiel had to go. He had to keep moving if he wanted to reach the restaurant on time, but he didn't feel like he could walk those streets by himself.

"Do you have something to do right now?" Castiel asked him. He didn't want to ask Dean, the guy he met just a few minutes ago, but what other choice did he have? Crash to the floor next time he saw a significant place? He needed company if he really wanted to go to the restaurant.

"I was going home." Dean said, not knowing what Castiel wanted from him.

After a few seconds, Castiel continued talking.

"I can't walk around this city by myself. Could you please walk with me to where I need to be?" The blush crept to his face, and he just wanted to hide his face away from this guy, but he couldn't. He needed Dean to help him.

"I don't mind, and I really don't want you falling to the floor when you try walking." Dean told him, trying to be as nice as he could. He could feel the other guy was uncomfortable with asking him to walk him to where he needed, but he had asked, so Castiel must be desperate to go somewhere.

They walked in peace, for a few seconds, before Castiel spotted one of Meg's favorite places – The florist shop. His world came crashing into him once again, but this time, before he could start hyperventilating, Dean was already placing a comfortable arm against his, to remind him he wasn't alone; there was someone next to him, ready to try and prevent another attack.

That helped Castiel to reach the restaurant without further problems.

Castiel was about to head inside, when Dean called him.

"Cas…" He stopped, not really remembering the rest of the other guy's name. "Can I call you that? Your name is kind of weird…. Anyway, if you ever find yourself with problems walking down the street call me. It's better if you have someone else walking beside you." Dean told him, while handing him a card with his name.

Castiel nodded.

"Thank you, Dean." He said, taking the card from Dean's hand. "Thank you for everything. Goodbye."

And so Castiel walked inside the restaurant, while Dean walked in a completely different direction.

Once he got inside, Castiel looked around the restaurant for his brother and his cousin. He saw Gabriel and Balthazar in one corner, and he walked up to them, ignoring the waiter that was asking him if he had a reservation.

"Sir… You can't just go inside." The waiter told him, a bit confused with Castiel's attitude.

Castiel rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to my family's table." He stated as he kept walking.

The waiter didn't look convinced, so he followed Castiel.

"Cassie!" Balthazar said loudly as soon as he spotted his cousin's trench coat. "You're finally here!"

Castiel smiled meekly at him.

"Sorry it took me so long." His eyes focused on the floor, not really want to think about the fact he had to walk outside.

Gabriel got up and pushed his brother forward to sit with them.

"Cassie! We know you're still shaken up because of Meg, but we want to let you know we're here for you." Gabriel said seriously as soon as he sat down. Gabe meant every word he said, he hated seeing his brother in such an awful state, especially because he didn't like Castiel's girlfriend all that much.

"I make Gabe's words my own!" Balthazar said as he patted Castiel on the shoulder.

Castiel was grateful that this part of the family was so nice. He hated when Michael and Lucifer were bickering with each other; he hated when Anna spoke like she was better than everyone else; he hated when Crowley tried to rule them all… His family was so crazy that he wasn't sure how he didn't catch any of that weirdness. He was very unique in his weirdness… Always knowing that he couldn't control anyone else, he limited himself in just watching and not commenting anything. Some said he was cold, others said he just didn't care; the truth was that he cared so much that it hurt him seeing his family behave like that.

"Should we start ordering?" Castiel asked, giving Gabriel and Balthazar a warm smile.

Ordering was easy for everyone except for Cas. He wasn't hungry. He couldn't hold much food in his stomach without it coming all out, so he settled for bread with butter. His brother, as usual, skipped the real food as went for the dessert. Balthazar on the other hand, decided to eat the best steak they had in the house with their finest bottle of wine.

Everyone's food came quickly. That was, of course, except for Balthazar's. They were waiting for his food to arrive to start eating –at least Castiel was- so Balthazar decided it was time to make his big announcement.

"Cassie! Gabe! I have something important to tell you guys!" The brothers stared at him, until he resumed speaking. "This year, I decided to find myself a girlfriend… -or a boyfriend. You know I'm not picky with that…- and help you guys find someone new! Gabe," Balthazar started looking at Gabriel specifically. "It's been too long since Kali… It's time to search for someone new…" Gabriel huffed and Balthazar turned his attention to Castiel. "And Cassie… I know Meg's death is still fresh, but you need to keep moving. I'm going to make you see that life isn't over just because she's gone. I need you to live your life, and keep going. I won't force into a relationship, but you need to meet new people."

Gabriel and Castiel didn't want Balthazar to do that, but they knew that when their cousin decided something, it was going to happen until he figured it was enough… They had no say in the matter.

They kind of agreed with him by saying nothing, which made Balthazar happy with himself. His food arrived soon after and they just ate their food, recalling their times together in the past.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

Being alone in his apartment is almost as bad as going out to the streets. The happy memories of that place were just as many as the ones from outside. Cas had lived together with Meg for one year and a half, and now that he was alone in that place, everything felt cold, as if he didn’t belong there.

As much as it hurt being inside his place, he didn’t dare going outside. He felt like he could stay inside of the rest of his life –which he felt like it wasn’t going to be very long if he didn’t eat something. After not eating for two whole days, Castiel felt weak. He was hungry, so he raised himself from the bed and walked to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Opening the fridge door and seeing nothing inside was a bit painful to Castiel’s stomach. There was only one way to get food.

Walking to his room once again, Castiel grabbed his phone and dialed his brother’s number. After three rings, Gabriel picked up the phone.

“Hey bro! How are you today?”

Castiel smiled lightly upon hearing his brother’s voice. He was always excited about life, and Castiel admired that in him. Even when Kali broke up with him, he still had that joy to keep living and be happy with everything life threw at him.

“I don’t have food.” Castiel said, trying to sound pitiful, so that his brother would feel sympathetic with him. “Could you bring me something to eat?”

Castiel could hear a sigh in the other side of the line.

“I’m sorry, Cassie… I just started my shift at work… If you’re not that hungry you could wait for about four hours? I can go there after my shift is over.”

A groan from Castiel’s stomach answered the question for him. He was too hungry to wait for so long. Castiel sighed.

“I can’t wait that long… I guess I have to call Balthy.”

“I really sorry Cassie… Are you okay?” Gabe was concerned, and Castiel wanted him to care about what happened to him, he wanted to be babied around, just for a few days… But Gabriel needed to work, and Castiel couldn’t ask him to come over.

“Yes. I’m alright. Goodbye Gabe.”

“Goodbye Cassie.” Gabriel said his last goodbye before both of them ended the call.

A sigh escaped Cas. His stomach groaned again and Castiel dialed his cousin’s number, and waited for him to pick up the phone.

“Hey-a! Good morning Cassie!” Balthazar, much like Gabriel, was always waiting for something good to happen, every day he woke up and was immediately starting his day with a wide smile in his face. Castiel didn’t understand how he could be like that; Castiel himself had so many problems to raise his ass from his bed… How could someone be up as soon as his eyes fluttered open? He had no idea.

“Good morning, Balthy.” Castiel greeted his cousin. “I’m sorry to bother you, but could you come over with some food for me?”

Balthazar went quiet on the other side of the line.

“If you can’t, it’s fine.” Cas said, even if that meant he would have to go outside, he didn’t want to pressure his cousin into coming over just to bring him food.

“Cassie… I’m really sorry, but I have a doctor appointment in twenty minutes, and I’m already at the Hospital… I don’t think it’s going to take much time, I think I can get there in about one hour and a half… Do you want to wait, or will you try Gabe?”

Not wanting to make Balthazar feel bad because he couldn’t be there when he needed him to, Castiel did the only thing he could think of: he lied.

“Yeah. I’ll try Gabe. His shift only starts in about an hour, he will probably come over as soon as I ask him.” Cas did his best to sound reassuring, and by Balthazar’s relieved sigh he could see he lied well enough for Balthazar to believe in him.

“Oh, alright! I’ll see you later! I’ll come over later, ok?” Balthazar, despite being relieved, still wanted to make sure hiss little Cassie was alright.

“Alright, Balthy. See you later, then!” Castiel said, trying to sound enthusiastic. It’s not like he wasn’t… It’s just that he didn’t feel like having his over exited cousin over. Yes, Balthazar would clean his place a bit, would make him food and watch some DVDs with him… He just didn’t feel like he could do it.

“See ya!” Balthazar hang off and Castiel walked to his room to grab some clothes to go outside.

 _Do I really need to go out? Can’t I just wait for Gabe or Balthy to come over?_ The answer was simple. He had told them both he was going to ask the other… He couldn’t just call them back and ask them to come… Could he? No, he couldn’t. That didn’t feel right. _I guess I really have to out._

As soon as he was dressed, Castiel went to grab his wallet and put it in his pocket when he felt a card sticking out of his pocket. He took it out and what he saw made him smile slightly. He had a plan now.

Grabbing his phone from the middle of the bed –where he had threw it when Balthazar hung off- he added the number in his contact list and pressed ‘CALL’.

_‘Calling Dean Winchester’_

It didn’t take long of Dean to pick up his phone.

“Hello?” Dean asked, making Castiel feel stupid for calling him of all people. He didn’t even know the guy… Just because he had been nice to him once, Castiel felt like he could call him out in the middle of the nowhere. “Helloooo?”

Feeling incredibly shy, Castiel finally spoke.

“Dean?”

“Yes? Who is this?” Dean asked on the other side of the line.

Castiel smiled slightly and took a deep breath.

“Hmmm… It’s Castiel. Hmm, Cas.” He said, as he wanted to make sure, Dean remembered him.

“Oh right… You’re the guy from the other day, right?”

Feeling incredibly relieved, Castiel sighed. _At least he remembers me…_

“Yes. I’m the guy from the other day…. You said…” Castiel started, but didn’t feel like he could continue talking. He didn’t like asking for favors, but Dean said… _Forget what he said… You don’t know him, and you shouldn’t trust a stranger!_

“I said that if you ever needed some help to walk outside you could call me… Is that why you’re calling me?” Dean asked, his calming voice, relaxing Castiel a bit.

Cas nodded, just in time to remember that Dean couldn’t see him.

“Yes…” He felt weak for asking a stranger or help, but he couldn’t help himself from doing so. “I’m sorry…”

Castiel’s small voice, made Dean talk again.

“Hey… Don’t say that. I’m the one who said you could come to me in times of help… Don’t come here and say ‘ _I’m sorry_ ’ because I don’t regret offering you help.”

“Thank you, Dean.” Castiel said, thinking that maybe calling Dean hadn’t been a mistake.

“You’re welcome. Now, where do you _want_ to go?” Dean asked. There was a ruffling sound on the other side of the line, and Castiel realized Dean was dressing himself fast.

“I _need_ to go shopping for food.” Because Castiel didn’t _want_ to go out… He _needed_ to do it. Even if he didn’t want to do so.

“Alright. Do you want to meet me at the same place as before?” What for Dean was a simple question, for Castiel was hell. Remembering where they had met the first time sent shivers to Castiel’s back and he felt that he was going to throw up. Since Castiel didn’t answer, Dean started getting worried. “Cas… You ok?”

No, he wasn’t ok. He felt like he was going to fall to the floor and die. He didn’t want to live… Not when this happened every time he remembered Meg.

Suddenly realizing why Castiel stopped answering, Dean cursed.

“Shit… It’s happening again… Where do you live, Cas?” He asked, his voice full of concern.

Castiel gave Dean his address, it was hard, but he did it. Even if he wanted to die, even if he didn’t feel like living, his survival self was the one who ruled. And he felt like he was going to die if he kept laying there alone.

“Listen to me Cas…” Dean said, as Castiel heard the wind hitting the speaker as Dean talked. “You’re going to be ok, you hear me?” Without the strength to answer, Castiel said nothing. “Just focus on my voice. Let me tell introduce myself properly…” Castiel could understand what Dean was trying to do. Dean was trying to make him think of anything else; making him forget about whatever broke him down like that. “I’m twenty four years old, I’m a mechanic, and I like cars… I like to help people, and I want to help you, so please hang in there.”

Feeling confused as to why Dean wanted to help him, Castiel could think a bit less about Meg, but _she_ was still in his mind. He didn’t have a switch to turn off and suddenly forget all about her. And even if he did have one, he wouldn’t press it; he would never forget how Meg and himself were together. His mind was screaming at him, he was hyperventilating, and the tears were falling down his face. He was curled up in his bed; he couldn’t make himself stop, and he felt bad for asking Dean to come and help him.

“I had a brother who was the brightest kid I have ever met, he was amazing, you should have met him, Cas.” Dean kept talking in the other line. “Sammy was so smart. And I was great to him.” Dean’s voice started coming in uneven intakes. “We were really close and we were never apart.” Castiel wanted to pay attention, but only a few words stayed in his mind ‘ _had’, ‘brother’,_ ‘ _met’, ‘Sammy’, ‘close’_ the rest of what Dean said, kind of left his brain faster than when it entered.

Minutes passed and Castiel felt like it had been hours instead, he still couldn’t control his breathing and he was crying more than before. He felt like his whole word was losing bits of itself and dying with him.

“Tell me Cas, where do you have your second key?” Dean asked, out of nowhere.

The question was one of the things that stayed in Castiel’s brain and he tried to reply, but it wasn’t necessary. He heard the door opening and someone stepping inside his house. Still crying, Castiel curled up even more in himself.

Cas heard the door opening in the hallway, and soon his own door was opened by Dean. He was panting as he walked inside the room and hugged Castiel once again.

“You’re ok. I’ve got you now.”

Castiel didn’t have the strength to reply, so he simply curled up in Dean pulled him as close as he could. It was a natural response; he needed someone to calm him down, and Dean’s touch was relaxing.

It took Dean a while, he was panting heavily when he entered through the door, but now, his heart’s speed started decreasing, and so did his breathing.

“Come on, Cas. You can do it too. Take a deep breath… Just like I did.” Dean encouraged. “You can do it.”

Castiel tried; he focused on Dean’s heart beat and tried to breathe as calmly as Dean’s chest rose and fell. After a few minutes, both their breaths had returned to normal.

“I told you, you could do it!” Dean said with a wink.

Castiel looked into Dean’s eyes and smiled gratefully. He still felt like crap, but now he felt like a better piece of crap.

“Thank you, Dean.” Those words seemed to be the thing he said mostly to Dean so far. He was grateful Dean came to him, when he felt so bad, and he couldn’t help but wonder why he came to him.

“You’re welcome Cas. Any time you need you can call me.” Dean said once again. “We still gotta go get you some food, ain’t that right?”

Castiel nodded, thinking of how he was going to be strong, just by going outside with Dean. Not staying alone with his own demons, while he could try to start living his own life once again. Sure, it was going to be hard to do so, especially now that Meg wasn’t there with him, but he needed to keep living… Balthazar was right about it, he needed to keep going. He couldn't continue his life feeling like crap... And even if he did continue it like that, he would do it outside, with someone's help.

“Let’s go.” Castiel said as he grabbed his cellphone and placed it in his pocket. He grabbed his keys and with Dean by his side he left his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you're thinking so far.


End file.
